My Take on a Submissive Wife

OK I guess I have to throw my hat into the ring on this one. I read an article yesterday that said Candice Cameron Bure is “controverial” because she chooses to be a submissive wife. Why this is controversial, I really don’t know. But I thought some of the comments on the article were the most interesting. She was called a Stepford Wife by one woman. And I know that I have heard other women say things like: “doormat”, “abused”, “weak”. And I guess that although no one has really ever said that to me, I feel attacked when others who live a similar lifestyle are attacked. So here is my take on being submissive.

I used to joke that Hubby wore the pants in the family, but I picked them out. People would laugh and we would go on. But at home, we were struggling. I was going to school full time, we had Big Girl, and the money wasn’t there. We fought constantly, although we played it down that they were just minor. I really can’t say when I started being submissive, and honestly, I am not sure it was a concious decision. But once I let go of the power struggle, things got easier. Our circumstances had changed, I was out of school and Baby Girl was here, but we were still broke. But we didn’t argue, we would discuss.

Honestly, this is the best analogy I can find for what being submissive means. I have two beautiful, independant daughters. They are both very my way or the highway. Because of this, I have let them pick out their own clothes from a young age. I realized that when I picked out their clothes (when I was in charge, in control) we would have meltdowns, tantrums, etc. and I would end up mad and frustrated. So, they get to pick out their own clothes. However, I do give them input on what they wear. “It is too hot to wear long sleeves today”, “It is too cold to wear shorts”, “That skirt is too short for you to wear to school”. They take what I say and think about it. Do I always win, no. Baby girl wore a long sleeve shirt to school a couple days ago and it was near 100*, but other times she will change her mind. Hubby and I are no different. When there is a decision to be made, like getting Big Girl tested for ADHD, I give him my perspective and input, but the decision is his to make. I support him therefore I support his decision, even if I don’t always fully agree with his decision.

I am not a door mat. I am in no way abused. I am treated like an equal half. I am most certainly not weak.  

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The Problem with Drought…

The area of Texas that I live in has been plagued with drought for, I swear, as long as I have been here. Hubby jokes that I brought the drought with me. We are so desparate for water (Stage 5 restrictions will go into effect very soon!) that the closest major city, the one where our water is bought from, is in the process of recycling water. Which means some time soon we will be drinking “clean” toilet water. Which in my mind is beyond disgusting and as terrible as it is for the enviornment, we will be buying bottled water. But I digress.

See the problem is, when you go through such a drought, your soil begins to compact as the water inside it drys out. We have clay soil here which makes it that much worse. What this means is that we are prone to flooding when it does rain, because the water cannot be soaked in as fast as it is coming down. But if you get a good rain, like the one we got a couple weeks ago, the soil will expand causing broken pipes.

Friday afternoon we went to talk to our neighbor to the South, Moon Man (names have been changed, obviously) at the shared fence. Hubby noticed that the ground was exceptionally spoungy and wet. UH OH! So we decided to check it out the next morning. This pipe is a T connection. We have a water line that runs all the way down the side of our property so we can water in case of fire. But it also goes into our house. Well Hubby had plans first thing Saturday morning, so he went into town and had birthday breakfast with his brother and then gathered supplies (Count first trip to town). He came home and we started to dig. We were not really sure where the pipe was but we had a good gerneral idea, so we would dig a little and stop to look for running water then dig a little more. We finally found it after what seemed like an hour of digging. We turned off the water and Hubby started cutting PVC. As we are working, we realize that the PVC cement we have is bad so I go to town (Count my first trip, but second for the job). I come home and the hole was filled with water. So we have to drain it with a bucket and a cup. The water is off at the meter, but it is still running, which is going to make fixing it even harder.

Hubby makes the first attempt at fixing the leak. I don’t know if he made a bad cut or if it is just being stubborn, because it will not fit back together. We have no more connections because Hubby thought it would be an easy fix. So he leaves to go to town (Count: trip # 3) to get more supplies. He has decided that he is just going to cap off this pipe so it will only run into our house instead of down th rest of the fenceline. So we attempt to cap it, TWICE. Both times the water pressure blows the connection off. Then we try an elbow connection we found, but it was to short. We make another trip (4 Trips into Town!). We buy extra fittings this time. We manage to FINALLY get it all together in the T, but it was still leaking. Not as bad as before, but still a decent drip.

Sunday morning Hubby went into town one last time, and he brought his buddy JMac (another name change) along with more parts back. After a couple more hours, they had it fixed. And it appears that it is not leaking. Thank goodness!

We sacrificed a day and a half, a finger (Hubby cut his finger really bad on the last attempted repair on Saturday), and a sunburn for me to get this job done. We are both very tired and very sore. But I am glad we did it. Hubby gave me the best compliment ever Saturday evening. He texted my dad. “You raised a d*mn good daughter. She is not afraid to get dirty. We spent all day trying to fix a busted pipe, and she was out there the whole time.” It is one thing to compliment me on not being afraid to get dirty, which he did, but it is something else entirely to compliment my dad about me. It made my day!

Goats!!

Well, it has been pretty quite on the farmstead. Figuratively, of course. It is never literally quiet. Haha. Baby Girl and Big Girl both had a stomach bug at the end of last week. Nothing major, but enough to keep them from doing fun stuff. They are both in school today though, so it was short-lived.

Hubby decided that he wanted something to help “mow” the back acre over the weekend, so we went and looked at a Shetland Pony. After it nearly ran over Baby Girl, we decided that it wasn’t as gentle as the owner claimed and that we would keep looking. Then we got back on the goat debate.

Months ago, I wanted to get a goat or two so that way we could have fresh, raw milk. But Hubby was less than enthused about getting any. But over the weekend, goats started looking like a good option (Insert eye roll here…it’s never a good idea until he comes up with it himself. haha). But everywhere we called to buy them, they no longer had any. We got very lucky though, because a lady that I had already been in contact with decided to sell her Sanaans. So Hubby, the King of Redneck Rigging, strapped and old gate to the bed of his pickup, and off we went!

So we are now the proud owners of a Doe Saanen named Annie and a Buck Saanen named Joey (I am sorry to my brother-in-law, he was already named!) So far they have been great…wish I could say the same for the dogs. Karlee (the chicken killer) barked for at least an hour after we got home. We ended up having to put her in a kennel with a blanket wrapped around it facing the house, so she could not see the goats or the other two dogs. That move granted us peace for the rest of the night. Here’s to hoping she gets used to Annie and Joey today and we don’t have to do that again tonight.

On a more feathery note, the chicks when out into the coop and run weekend before last. They are enjoying having more room to run around in. Although, my Bantams are having a hard time adjusting to the big chicks. Poor things hide in a nest box most of the time. Hubby assures me that they will adjust and that they will find their places among the flocks hierarchy.

Thoughts about My Husband**

Monday was another crazy busy day. Big Girl had a make-up soccer game at 5:30, and of course, we forgot her soccer bag at the house. So I drove out to the house after the bus dropped her off at my office and we picked up Baby Girl at daycare. I pulled up to the house and only saw 2 turkeys in the yard. One was dead in the turkey house, the other missing one was beat up pretty good and hiding. So I called Hubby. The dogs were at it again. So Hubby made the decision to skip the game and put up an electric fence. It has been up for 3 full days now. And we have not lost anymore poultry! YEAH!! But I felt bad that Hubby missed the game. So I called him to keep him updated, which annoyed him.

I tell you this, because for some reason, it has had a profound effect on me. I spend ALOT of time online. And I have noticed lots of bloggers that I follow talking about being a Proverbs 31 wife. So last week I did some digging on what that meant. She is everything that I want to be! So I decided that I was going to be that woman. So I printed off a reading list that was suggested by a blogger and borrowed two of the titles from my local library.

My eyes have been opened! The first book I read was Love and Respect For a Lifetime, I learned that men really just want respect. If we as women don’t show our husband respect, then they are likely to draw away and not show us the love that we need to see.

I am in the process reading The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. This book talks about women caring and feeding their husbands mentally and spiritually. I think all women should read it, single, married for 5, 15, or 50 years. I was only 2 chapters in last night, when I went out to the living room and apologized to Hubby about neglecting him, he was stunned to say the least. I did not know that I had been putting him on the back-burner until I started reading all the excerpts of callers that Dr. Laura Schlessinger put into the book. Suddenly I realized that these women have similar complaints as I do, then it was these women are just like me, I do that.

There is an interesting part of the book where she writes about “Hurried Woman Syndrome”. It is a real medical syndrome!

 “This syndrome has been defined by the symptoms of weight gain, low sex drive, moodiness, and fatigue – all due to the stress caused by trying to do too much, not being able to keep up with it, not feeling ver accomplished at any of it, resenting anyone who had any expectations (like husbands and children), and ending up feeling hostile and depressed.”

WOW! That is me, 100%. And my family suffers, I know this, I see it all the time. The hurt in my kids eyes when I lash out at them from frustration. The pulling away of my husband, when I cannot control my moods, or too tired to even take on even the smallest task for him. I take my job as his helpmeet very seriously, but to find myself pushing him away, that bothers me.

So I guess the point of all of this rambling, is that I am going to try to be a better wife, a Proverbs 31 woman because I have the best husband in the world, and he deserves that.

 

 **I doubt he will read this!

 

 

 

Frustration on the Farmstead

Well, it has been a difficult few days for the farmstead. Thanks to and owl, our chicken flock was pretty small. But last weekend we decided the weather was finally nice enough for the puppies, Karlee (a Bassett mix) and Dozier (a pit and bull mastiff mix), to go outside for good. Well, I guess they decided to retaliate. The first day, I caught Dozier nose deep in a chicken that had flown over the fence. I didn’t know what to do, so I slapped him in the head to get him off the chicken and I threw the poor girl in the trash. The next time it happened, Hubby came home from work early and saw all three dogs in a corner of the yard with yet another chicken. She was still alive, but died about 2 hours later. But she was not the only casualty of the day. They got my favorite hen, Ruby. Today I came home, in a hurry since Big Girl had to change to go to soccer practice. I decided to go ahead and feed animals while she was changing. As I walked out to the yard I noticed all I could see were turkeys. I opened the gate and started to call for chickens as I threw out the food. No one came except for turkeys. My dogs killed all of my remaining chickens, 2 hens and 2 roos. They also chased my turkeys around the yard while I was gone taking Big Girl to meet up with her daddy for soccer practice. Winnie and Dozier were both in the yard with the turkeys huddle up in their house. Hubby and I don’t know what to do. We are considering getting rid of the dogs, but I really don’t want to do that (but given the other option…). Although, we may try to run an electric fence first and see if that will keep them out.As it stands right now though, I have no chickens that are capable laying eggs and no meat in the freezer, but I have chicks in the kitchen that will be ready to go into the coop soon.

Anyone have any ideas for breaking dogs from killing chickens?

Happy Days

I have been waiting to post for something exciting or blog-worthy to happen. But it hasn’t. Haha. Baby girl turned 4 on the 15th and Grandpa turned 82 on the 14th. So we had a birthday party on Saturday. It finally rained that day too! Almost 2 inches! Soccer games were canceled for Big Girl on Saturday since Spring Break started last weekend, and practice was cancelled thanks to cold and wind on Sunday. Other than that, there hasn’t been much going on around here. We have struggled the past few weeks with our whole food life. Hubby has been craving fried foods. So off to town we go for chips and salsa, burgers, and oddly, lobster. I am hoping that we can get back on track tonight and start eating better again. Yesterday, I picked up an incubator! I am not sure who is more excited: Hubby or Big Girl. I guess we are going to try to hatch some of our little crossbreed eggs. I wonder what a half-silkie chicken will look like? Haha. My chicks are getting close to completely feathered out, so they will go outside soon as the weather decides to stay decent. Below freezing this morning and in the 70s this afternoon. Gotta love N. Texas weather! Hopefully, I will have more to talk about in my next post!

Long Dramatic Day

Outside of starting my blog, yesterday was just short of catastrophic. Maybe I am being harsh, but yet, really it seems right to say that. I had a long day at work, nothing interesting or difficult, just straight long. I went, picked the girls up from daycare and drove home. That’s when the catastrophies started. My sink was clogged. And mind, I have delt with clogged drains before, but this one was tough. It took me a whole 15 minutes of struggling with the plunger in the sink to realize that when you have a double sink, you have to plug one side. Yeah, that was my day. But I finally got the sink cleared, and the chicks watered. Then, I saw it. Those with chicks will already know this, but this is my first go round. We check on the chicks multiple times a day to make sure they have food and water, but really don’t look at them. I did yesterday. Three of my chicks had blocked “vents”. So I got to wash little chicken butts. Yeah, it’s really what I did after work yesterday. Times like that I wonder if I really want to have chickens. On the plus side, my oldest has decided that she would feed the big chickens outside, so I was saved from having to do that chore.

Anyone else have a terrible day, yesterday? What about a chore that they would rather push on someone else (like a kid)?

Introductions

My name is Charli. I grew up in North West Texas. Daughter to a 2nd generation cattle rancher. And to be completely honest, I loved being out in the country. I hated having to work cattle though.

Jump ahead 10 years, now I am a mom of two girls (there’s the 2). We along with my Hubby live out on about two acres of land about 2 hours from Dallas/Ft. Worth. We are striving for a whole and self-sufficient life on our little piece of paradise. So we have at current count 3 dogs, 3 cats, and 26 chicks & chickens. Ok, so maybe I don’t have an actual zoo, but my life sure seems to resemble one.

My goal for this blog is to track our progress as we move towards self-sufficiency on our property. As well as our move from processed to whole foods. But also, I want to give hope to those starting out like us through our trials and errors and hopefully they will be told with a little humor and grace.