OK I guess I have to throw my hat into the ring on this one. I read an article yesterday that said Candice Cameron Bure is “controverial” because she chooses to be a submissive wife. Why this is controversial, I really don’t know. But I thought some of the comments on the article were the most interesting. She was called a Stepford Wife by one woman. And I know that I have heard other women say things like: “doormat”, “abused”, “weak”. And I guess that although no one has really ever said that to me, I feel attacked when others who live a similar lifestyle are attacked. So here is my take on being submissive.
I used to joke that Hubby wore the pants in the family, but I picked them out. People would laugh and we would go on. But at home, we were struggling. I was going to school full time, we had Big Girl, and the money wasn’t there. We fought constantly, although we played it down that they were just minor. I really can’t say when I started being submissive, and honestly, I am not sure it was a concious decision. But once I let go of the power struggle, things got easier. Our circumstances had changed, I was out of school and Baby Girl was here, but we were still broke. But we didn’t argue, we would discuss.
Honestly, this is the best analogy I can find for what being submissive means. I have two beautiful, independant daughters. They are both very my way or the highway. Because of this, I have let them pick out their own clothes from a young age. I realized that when I picked out their clothes (when I was in charge, in control) we would have meltdowns, tantrums, etc. and I would end up mad and frustrated. So, they get to pick out their own clothes. However, I do give them input on what they wear. “It is too hot to wear long sleeves today”, “It is too cold to wear shorts”, “That skirt is too short for you to wear to school”. They take what I say and think about it. Do I always win, no. Baby girl wore a long sleeve shirt to school a couple days ago and it was near 100*, but other times she will change her mind. Hubby and I are no different. When there is a decision to be made, like getting Big Girl tested for ADHD, I give him my perspective and input, but the decision is his to make. I support him therefore I support his decision, even if I don’t always fully agree with his decision.
I am not a door mat. I am in no way abused. I am treated like an equal half. I am most certainly not weak.